i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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