Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
