Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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