its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
