I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
