I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
