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If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
