Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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