Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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