Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
