Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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