Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
