Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
