I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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