I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
