As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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