am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
