i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
