i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
True strength comes from lack of pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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