The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
