there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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