She announced her abortion via fbk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
