Its about making memories worth repressing
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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