smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
