i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
