the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
