$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
