He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
