1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
false alarm. still invincible.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
