dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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