i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
FUCK WHALES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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