Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
