Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I see more hoeing in ur future
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
