You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
