once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
