I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I didn't notice because vodka
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
