and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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