it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
