Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
