Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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