There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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