there was a trapeze. enough said
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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