If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize