Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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