I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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