He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
