Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
