at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
