i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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