she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
