I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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