Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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