we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
