Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
