Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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