I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
