Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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