He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize