she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
