You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
