I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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