glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
