We're like a lot better than the average bears
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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