i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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