And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
