We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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